And to feel is?
by Alphonseelric22
Summary: They've always been told that they can't feel, but is it really true? Is it possible that this 'love' is unavailable to them when they can so clearly feel it? AkuRoku. Maybe Zemyx. Please R&R. No flames please.
1. Chapter 1

**FINALLY!! I finally got an idea for an AkuRoku after for freaking ever and a bit of writer's block. This is just the prologue as you can plainly see but I do have more in store for this. Don't worry. I plan to work as hard as I possibly can on this one.**

**There is something that I feel I must do and that is to give a shout to Lorcathegreat for the story Just Business. I was just reading that one and all of a sudden this was born from just reading. Now don't worry. I in no way intend to rip of that story line. Just got an idea in my head while reading that story so I must thank you Lorca for your cure for writer's block. THANK YOU!! **

**DISCLAIMER: I in no friggin way own KH or the characters. If I did... smex for all!**

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_**Prologue: Feeling  
**_

_Blood. That's really all he could taste at that moment as a hard fist collided with his jaw, a few bones seeming to snap. That would be a bitch during the healing process for sure. _

_He stood from the floor, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his coat. "Really Xemnas, don't you think it'll take more than that to change my mind? You should know by now that I don't cooperate well with opposition," His smirk grew with every passing second and he knew that during any one of those seconds he may be annihilated. NO ONE challenged The Superior and got away with it. EVER. If he was lucky he'd come out beaten and bleeding._

"_We CAN'T feel Axel!"_

"_Bullshit!" he shot back, anger pulsing through his veins, "If we can't feel then how come I feel like kicking your ass!" How could he feel the fire building in his core, ready to burst and consume everything. "If I can't feel then how come I love him SO GODDAMN MUCH?! TELL ME THAT YOU BASTARD!!" Too late. The flames made it to his fingertips and from then on they couldn't stop. Fire swirled around them, consuming the silver haired man in the heat. The fire pulsed through him, became him. His target scowled fiercely, his own attack beginning to form._

"_Axel, you fool! You can't love him! We are nothing! We were never meant to be so therefore we were never given hearts! You only THINK you love him. It's that idiotic mind of yours taking over!"_

"_SHUT UP!!" he screamed, squeezing his eyes shut painfully. He refused to listen to him. It wasn't true. All that he FELT couldn't be in his mind. He could feel the pulse beating within him, flowing through him. "It isn't true. I DO love him! I love him, I love him, I love him, I LOVE ROXAS!!" he raged, an enormous growl ripping from his chest as he burned through whatever he could. _'I love him... it can't be fake...'

'Axel,' The redhead turned to face the blonde.

'Yeah Roxas?'

'Can you feel it?'

'Feel what Roxas?' He'd always believed he could feel. They both did. If they couldn't feel then how come they felt so much better when they talked? How could they have likes, dislikes, anger, happiness? They weren't just hollow shells like The Superior had always said. They had to be more than just nothings.

'This... feeling... like it's falling apart, slipping through our fingers?'

'Roxas, I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Us. I FEEL,' it seemed to make it more real to put emphasis on the word, 'something crumbling between us.'

'Roxas, that's ridiculous. We'll always be friends. You know that.'

'That's what I mean Axel. Friends. Is that all we can be? All we were meant to be? Why can't there be more?' Roxas was facing him now and Axel could tell this was no joke.

'I don't know Rox.' His voice trembled. Was he sad? Shit. Pull it together Axel.

Roxas's fists clenched painfully, nails digging into his pale flesh. 'Do you want it to be more than that Ax?'

Stunned was the only word to describe him now. 'Roxas, I-'

'Don't say I don't know anymore.' His tone was grating and Axel flinched inwardly at it. Never had he heard this tone from him. Never had he expected to. 'I'm tired of all of the vague answers and endless questions.'

Axel didn't know when he had decided to look at his feet but when he did notice and looked he had an eyeful of blue. Not just any old blue, but endless and seemingly pained blue. 'Roxas-'

'Shut up.' Acid poured from his lips as he spoke those two words. 'Why Axel? Tell me why! Why does it hurt so much?! Why am I always ready to burst around you?!' Small hands had fisted black cloth as pained blue eyes scanned the redhead's face for any sign of an answer. 'WHY?!'

'It's called _feeling_, Roxas,' he muttered, his face inching closer to the blonde's, 'It's called... love.' A breathy whisper then brushing of lips.

_Axel shook his head violently, the memory only tormenting him more. The flames calmed and the fire died as Axel's knees came into contact with the floor. He stared across the room at Xemnas, the broken man gasping for much needed air, healing as quickly as that body would let him. _'I love him.'_ his mind, no his HEART told him again. With this knowledge in him Axel stood from his place on the ground. "We can feel Xemnas. Maybe if there was someone for you who helped you feel then you'd see. You'd see why I do the things I do."_

_Xemnas stared at him, breathing still erratic, wounds healing much than they would on any other nobody._

"_We can feel. You just choose not to, to ignore the feeling. Well not me. I'm sick of the numbness. I choose Roxas." His last words still hanging in the air, Axel walked into the darkness, his goal to find the blonde, _his_ blonde and feel._

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**Well, this is the part where I scream at you to review so... REVIEW! Please . Must be kind to all of the great readers out there. Please tell me all that you think.**

**And to clear up confusion, the italics is what was actually happening and the normal text was a memory of Axel's.**

**I'm normally against flaming but oh the joy I get from setting Xemnas ablaze! **


	2. AN: Flames

**I have never done this befor because I have never felt the need to, but I do feel now is the appropriate time for an author's note.**

**For those of you who have been flaming just because you can, just stop please. There is no point in starting a ton of drama on a site that many people love. The flaming is getting out of hand and those who flame have even been criticizing the writer's more than needed. I can see someone saying the story is bad, but when you insult a person's lifestyle when you know nothing of them and how they live that is taking it too far. **

**For those of you who read my fanfics and talk to me either here or on DA I am officially posting a warning to all who post their fanfictions here. Beware of the flamers. There has been, from what I have observed, a recent increase in the amount of people on this site just for the sake of flaming people and their works. If you plan to post anything here here is my advice: Ignore the bullshit they say and just continue on with whatever it is you are writing. They most likely get a kick out of watching someone freak out over a flame so just don't reply to it and don't take it to heart. There have been many useless flames being dealt out so just don't think too much on it.**

**For those of you who may bitch at me for this side note or flame stories that clearly say 'No flames' on them, just stop. What is the point in talking down on someone? I really don't see it. **

**My reason for this note is so that maybe people will see that it's just useless and a waste of time to just sit there bashing fanfictions. So please stop the hating. It will get you nowhere.**

**BTW, this story will continue so keep your eye out for the next chappy! Flamers won't get me down!  
**


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